The Hall of Shame

Personally owned the Congo Free State as a private corporate fiefdom, extracting ivory and rubber through forced labor, hostage-taking, and horrific mass amputations affecting millions.

Ugandan dictator notorious for widespread human rights abuses, ethnic persecutions, extrajudicial killings, and bestowing himself absurd grand titles including "Conqueror of the British Empire".

Prince of Wallachia who turned human impalement into a bespoke architectural hobby. Legend holds that he dined outside in a literally groaning forest of impaled enemies to boost his appetite.

Famous for reciting poetry while Rome burned to the ground so he could clear real estate for his 300-room golden palace (Domus Aurea). Also executed his own mother after a trick collapsing boat failed to drown her.

Hungarian noblewoman and history’s most prolific female killer, accused of torturing and murdering hundreds of young girls, inspired by rumors that bathing in blood preserved youthful skincare.

Roman Emperor who allegedly tried to appoint his favorite horse Incitatus as a high priest and consul, declared war on the sea god Neptune, and ordered soldiers to stab the waves and collect seashells as war booty.

United the nomadic tribes of Northeast Asia and founded the largest contiguous empire in history by turning entire rival metropolises into flat fields of ashes and skulls.

First Tsar of Russia who created the Oprichnina (a grim squad dressed in black riding horses with severed dog heads) and accidentally killed his own son and sole competent heir in a sudden fit of rage.

The driving fanatic behind the Spanish Inquisition. Engineered the expulsion, torture, and burning at the stake of thousands in the name of piety and religious conformity.

Marcus Aurelius’ disappointing son who renamed Rome "Colonia Commodiana", renamed the months of the year after his own twelve aliases, and forced amputees and dwarfs to battle him in the Colosseum with wooden swords.

Ruled under martial law while looting an estimated $5 to $10 billion from national coffers into Swiss accounts, offshore shell companies, Manhattan towers, and over 3,000 pairs of designer shoes.

Self-proclaimed holy man and mystic who wormed his way into the Russian royal family, dictated state appointments, and survived cyanide, gunshots, and a clubbing before finally being dumped in an icy river.

The patron saint of financial grifters. Promised investors 50% returns in 45 days through an international postal reply coupon arbitrage trick that was 100% smoke and mirrors.

Smooth-talking master con artist who forged government credentials, gathered Parisian scrap metal dealers in a luxury hotel, and successfully sold the Eiffel Tower for scrap metal... not once, but twice.

Italian occultist and con artist who traveled royal courts selling water from the Fountain of Youth, "Egyptian" Masonic rites, and magic potions that promised immortality to wealthy gullible aristocrats.